I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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