have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
