Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
