check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
