I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
