U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
