Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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