Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
