i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
