it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
