So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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