some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
