I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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