i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
