omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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