He is such a slut. More and more my type.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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