And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
