I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
