it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
