So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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