I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize