Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
