would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
