You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
