i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
