I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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