im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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