you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
