I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you win again, gameday.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
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