talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
