Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
