I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
