I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
