this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We need to get me chipped asap
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