Mattress luging...It's a long story.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
