why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't think brook has ever known best
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize