It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
