I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can you bring me the toilet please
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
