I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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