I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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