Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
