I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize