She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
