false alarm. still invincible.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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