i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
