pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just had sex on a roof
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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