I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she looked like the before picture.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
