A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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