i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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