My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
