i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Pooping to opera.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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