Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
