what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
