Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
