That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
