i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
