I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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