Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
wow bdsm is so cute
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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