Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
