thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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