Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
