i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
