I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
are you so shy because you have an std?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
