ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
