Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize