whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
