Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
