fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
