They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
